Counterattack
by RuJa4EVA
Summary: Ivan Braginski loved Honda Kiku. Russia had been sure to drill that into his brain.


It was back again.

Every time he saw them together…he couldn't shake the feeling.

Japan clenched the tray in his hands, trying to stop himself from thinking that thought. The thought that this might be it. This could be the very moment.

A smile from Russia. A laugh from him. Japan placed the tray down and, shaking, poured himself a cup of tea from it. He quickly brought it to his lips, relying on it to wash away the thoughts, the feelings, the pain in his chest. The liquid did nothing but burn his throat.

At first Kiku had thought nothing of it. It was natural that, after being friends for so long, Russia and Canada would be so close. Though he did admit at the time that he longed to go drinking with them, not for the alcohol, but simply for the time with Ivan, Japan had believed them to be nothing but good friends. He missed those ways of thinking.

Then he had walked in on them kissing. At the time he'd still been denying any sort of romantic feeling between the two, so he accepted the excuse that it had been a dare from Hungary. But he never believed it.

…It wasn't until he'd discovered that, before he had returned Russia's feelings, Matthew and Ivan had slept together that Kiku knew there was a problem. Russia immediately came and explained. Kiku listened to reason after reason of why it had happened. Russia was depressed. He wasn't thinking straight. He was drunk. Canada was drunk. It was a mistake. It would never happen again, he promised. He loved Kiku.

At first, he blamed Canada. Matthew Williams was trying to steal Ivan away. Matthew Williams was the one interested in Ivan, never the other way around. No, not Ivan Braginski. Ivan Braginski loved Honda Kiku. Russia had been sure to drill that into his brain.

And then he talked to England. And, as it turned out, Ivan Braginski did not just love Honda Kiku. Ivan Braginski loved Wang Yao. Ivan Braginski loved Feliks Łukasiewicz. Ivan Braginski loved Toris Laurinaitis. Ivan Braginski, as it turned out, "loved" many nations, all whom were eventually tossed aside as soon as Russia discovered he could not make them become one with him. Though, as much as Arthur hated Russia around his "little Matthew", he could not say that their relationship was similar to any of Russia's previous interactions with other nations.

Japan wanted to hate Russia. He wanted to hate him like he had after the Russo-Japanese War, wanted to hate him for all he done to him in the past and all he had put him through emotionally and physically while trying to make Kiku love him. He wanted to be able to attack Russia with no emotions in the way, like he once had before.

But he couldn't. He couldn't hate Russia, not after all he'd been put through. Honda Kiku loved Ivan Braginski. He himself had drilled that into his own mind.

He could not hate Russia. It was not Russia who had done this to himself. It was not Russia who had allowed him to open himself up to the world. It was not Russia who had let himself give his everything to the other.

The others would be worried.

Someone would notice he was gone.

Eventually.

Ivan Braginski loved Honda Kiku.

He stood up, calmly picking up the tray before walking out to the garden. His sad smile turned genuine as he neared the two under the cherry blossoms.

Honda Kiku loved Ivan Braginski.

Russia laughed about something. Canada playfully swatted him.

Japan clenched the tray tighter as he walked.

One day it would happen.

And there was nothing he could do but wait for it to come.

Ivan Braginski loved Matthew Williams.

* * *

Russia gently lifted the letter, shaking as he read it. The same table that previously dripped with invisible tears was now stained with blood.

Ivan Braginski loved Honda Kiku.

Honda Kiku could no longer love.

* * *

**Right then, so the whole line about the table will be appearing in my next fic which will be equally stupid and equally badly written. ^^**

**If you haven't read Miirkaelisaar's latest fic, please do. Then tell me about it. I'm having trouble making myself read it because I know how great of a writer she is and I know I'm going to cry.**

**Oh, and in case you didn't understand…The Russia/Canada was all in Japan's head. Japan's insecure, paranoid head. **

**And as with all my fics lately, this is inspired by Hatsune Miku. In this case, the song was Love Is War. I suggest you check it out if you haven't already.**


End file.
